I'm betting that the title of this blog turned half of you away in an instant. However, I will proceed. Any ideas for motivating better visiting teaching? And I'm not just talking about "do it to get the numbers" style. I am really looking for ways to help others enjoy it, build relationships, feel the spirit, and understand it's importance. For me, a testimony has come in the doing of it. Quantity has led to quality. Has it always been perfect? Nope. Have I always made super close friends with everyone in my VT circle? No. But there have been many instances where I built lifelong friendships and learned important trths of the gospel while involved in it.
Any ideas? Anyone? Buhler?
5 comments:
Oh, boy. Visiting Teaching has seriously been a struggle for me. I hit rock bottom two years ago. I was pregnant and in a new ward. I was trying to do the right thing and be diligent. And then one of my teachees REQUESTED that I not teach her any more. I'm still not entirely sure why. I was humiliated and hurt and I never wanted to see her or my partner again. I was ready to quit the program forever.
I didn't quit (although I will admit I did take a few months off). My partner and I stayed together but got some new sisters. And the strangest thing happened. Little by little my partner and I became very good friends (which I didn't think would happen--we have VERY different lives). We enjoy each other so much we actually like going to see our sisters. Doesn't sound like a huge deal but it represents a big change for me. My heart has definitely been softened when it comes to this particular church program.
Honestly, Kiley, I think you're off to the right start. I think WANTING to do it (and not just to check it off--I mean really wanting to represent Christ in a sister's home) is the most important thing. I think that brings the right spirit. So, I shall refrain from giving advice on this topic (especially to you) other than to say "Just Do It." I think the righteous desires of your heart will come true :)
Aww- Kelly-what an awful story! Maybe she didn't want to be taught at all, and didn't have anything to do with you. I wish I could have you for my VT!
You too, Kiley! ;) I have no advice, but I think it's great that you're thinking of the sisters you teach. One of the gals I teach stopped coming to church, stopped responding to my emails and calls, and I couldn't surprise visit because she had a gated community. So after a few months I wrote her a really honest email saying I hoped I hadn't annoyed her to death with my constant appointment making, and hoped I hadn't offended her, and hoped she knew she could be as honest as she wanted to with me. SHe wrote back, apologized, and gave me three days to choose from to visit. Now we're back to visits every month and she's been back to church. I don't think we change each other, but I think we do offer the little nudges that help sisters feel better, and more able to do what is right. As for the rest of the seven people on my list- surprise visits are about the only way I can make contact. But it's fun when we DO see each other.
remember their birthdays, help them move... but don't move their stuff if they are not moving, that would just be awkward.
I am not a fan of the drop by visit. As someone who is generally on the receiving end of one it can be frustrating. I don't want to complain about my visiting teachers because they are very nice ladies but I find it hard to share or open up to them when they drop by for a visit at 10 in the morning on a Tuesday, then they leave a note saying sorry we missed you, it actually conveys to me...we actually didn't really want to meet with you we just needed to check you off our list so we decided to come by when we knew you wouldn't be home. In the event that they drop by in the evening it frustrates me also. I'm a single girl who lives by herself. If you're going to stop by I need you to call ahead so I don't panic when the doorbell rings, so I can make sure my living room is clean, and so I can change out of my pajama bottoms. During the school year I never answer a doorbell if I don't know who it is and it's dark outside. The problem is I get home from work after dark. So if you ring the bell it may seem like I'm ignoring you personally when really, I am just staying safe. I am very busy and I realize it can be difficult to catch up with me but I will always return a phone call and I will always try and accommodate a visit but when someone calls three days before the end of the month and I can't meet on any of those three days but offer to meet a few days later and my offer is declined it also conveys the message that we care more about getting it done for the month than actually building a relationship with you. I have a strong testimony of visiting teaching. Some of my best friends were partners, people I visit taught, or people who visit taught me. It makes me sad when things aren't clicking. I know it's as much my responsibility as it is anyones but honestly I wouldn't consider calling my visiting teachers for anything nor would I share anything other than simple pleasantries. Of course if the spirit says "do a drop by" do it, don't just rely on them for all your contacts. I don't mean to be a downer -- just keepin' it real. My ward does print a recipe on the back of every VT message. I do look forward to that.
Kiley - we already talked about some of this, but reading the comments I thought of something my mom taught me. She said you should build the kind of relationship with your VTees that when they need help they will think to call you first. It takes time and work and loving attention, but I want my vtees to call me when they need help. There have been lots of times where I thought of friends first, before trying a VTer because I knew it wasn't imposing to them (but not when you were my VTer!!) - then I'd sometimes try to go to my vter instead to give the opportunity for the relationship to grow...
Love the rainbow picture! Great temple pictures. Wish we'd been there for Miles' birthday (and every day since....) missing you!
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